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Polyamory is the practice of being intimately involved with more one person in an open up and honest manner. People who identify every bit polyamorous may appointment or live with multiple partners and exist in dear with more than than i person at a fourth dimension. To do polyamory, you will need to establish rules and guidelines with your partners. Y'all will besides need to manage your time then you lot can connect with your partners equally every bit as possible. Make certain you communicate and listen to the needs of your partners so all your relationships are healthy and loving.

  1. 1

    Raise the thought of polyamory with your partner in a private setting. If yous are in a monogamous relationship and want to explore polyamory with your partner, bring up the subject at home. Find a fourth dimension when your partner is open to chatting, such as subsequently dinner or before bed. Be honest and upfront near the idea. Express your reasons for wanting to brand the relationship polyamorous.[1]

    • You may think about your reasons earlier talking to your partner. Have a few good, valid reasons for bringing upwards the idea so you are prepared for the discussion.
    • For case, you may say, "Listen, I've been thinking about this for a long time and what would you think well-nigh beingness polyamorous? I love you and want to be with yous, simply I also call up it may be healthy for the states to open up the relationship and come across other people."

  2. ii

    Explicate that you lot would set guidelines and rules together. You tin can also tell your partner that there is no right way to exist polyamorous and that you would both have to agree on boundaries and rules for your relationships with others.

    • For case, you may say, "We can determine how our polyamorous relationship works" or "We would work together to make polyamory piece of work for us."

  3. 3

    Requite your partner time to call up well-nigh existence polyamorous. It may take time for your partner to comprehend the thought of being polyamorous. Be patient and give them fourth dimension to retrieve it over. Do not pressure them or strength them.

  4. 4

    Take if your partner says "no" and discuss your options. Try non to brand them feel bad if they say "no" to existence polyamorous. It is not for everyone and it should just exist washed if both partners in the monogamous human relationship agree to it. You and your partner may then talk over the status of your relationship. Consider whether the human relationship is for you, or if y'all need time apart.

    • For example, yous may say to your partner, "I appreciate you being honest with me. Permit's piece of work on our relationship together, as a monogamous couple" or "I understand that you are not comfortable with the idea of polyamorous. Tin we talk more about the status of our relationship?"

  5. 5

    Agree to tell your partners about other people yous are seeing. A big part of beingness polyamorous is being honest with your partners and not lying or hiding your other relationships. If you are in a committed relationship and desire to be polyamorous, sit downward with your primary partner and agree that you lot volition tell each other about other people you are dating. Decide how much particular you volition provide when yous tell your partner virtually other partners.[2]

    • For example, yous may agree to tell your partner any they'd like to know virtually your other partners, from their name to their profession to how often you are going to see them.
    • You may both also concur to be open to meeting other partners and interacting with other partners as a couple, and every bit individuals.
    • If yous are non in a committed relationship, you should nevertheless found clear rules with your other partners. Outline them with each partner and then you stay honest and open with each other.

  6. 6

    Attempt the "don't ask, don't tell" policy. Some polyamorous people hold to accept a policy in which they do not share the details of their other partners. Instead, they agree to trust one another and give one another the freedom to see whoever they want. Some people prefer this if they do not want to know about their partners' other relationships.[3]

    • Go on in mind if you abound uncomfortable with this policy, you lot can e'er sit down with your partners and discuss beingness more than open with this information.

  7. 7

    Hash out how and when yous are going to tell others that you are polyamorous. You can agree to disclose you lot are polyamorous with a potential partner before you become sexual or intimate. This volition ensure you are being honest with the potential partner and keeping things transparent.[four]

    • For instance, y'all may concur to say to potential partners early in the relationship, "I want you to know earlier we go further that I'm in a polyamorous relationship with my primary partner. This means we are open up to being with other people and maintaining multiple relationships."
    • Or you may say, "I desire you to know I'k polyamorous. This means I am intimate with other people at one time and am not monogamous with ane person."
    • You may then outline the rules and guidelines you have established so they are aware of what they are getting into. Make sure your other partners know that you are not going to want to exist monogamous with them at any bespeak in the relationship.

  8. 8

    Decide if the polyamory is sexual, emotional, or both. Some people have relationships outside of their master relationship that are strictly sexual. Others take partners that they connect to sexually and emotionally. Discuss what you and your principal partner are virtually comfortable with. Be honest most what yous want from other relationships so the boundaries are articulate.[v]

    • For example, you and your primary partner may agree to but have other relationships that are sexually fulfilling. The emotional aspects of a human relationship may be limited to just y'all and your primary partner.
    • Or, you and your main partner may concord to have other relationships that are sexual and emotional in nature.

  9. 9

    Talk over whatever relationship areas that are out-of-premises. Make sure you tell your primary partner if you practice not want others to have access to certain areas of your relationship. For example, if you both accept children, y'all may both concur to keep your other partners separate from your children'due south lives. Or if you both own a home, you may agree to exist with other partners outside of your shared home.[6]

    • Some polyamorous people will go on the boundaries loose and open to encourage their other partners to feel welcome and function of their lives. Others may maintain strict boundaries so loosen them over fourth dimension. Do what feels right for you and your partners.

  1. i

    Schedule in time to see each partner. Utilise a calendar on your phone or a day planner to schedule in fourth dimension with each of your partners. If you lot are office of a polyamorous couple, you may plan your dates away from your primary partner on the same night then you are both out and one of you is non left alone at home.[seven]

    • You can share a main calendar online with your partners and then you tin can all communicate and organize the schedule together. This will go on things transparent and honest.

  2. two

    Try to spend equal time with each partner. If yous are part of a couple, you may agree to spend the majority of your time with your primary partner, and then equal amounts of fourth dimension with your other partners on the weekend or certain weeknights. Or you lot may reserve certain nights or days to your other partners.[8]

    • You may as well try to spread out your time equally amid each partner. For example, you may alternate weekends with different partners or have certain days of the week where you just spend time with ane particular partner.

  3. 3

    Plan different activities or dates for your partners. Treat each partner similar an individual and think nigh how you can enrich each human relationship. Arrange dates that arrange each partner. Program quality time with each partner doing an activity yous both enjoy. Make sure the fourth dimension you spend with each partner is fulfilling to you both.

    • For example, you may arrange a night out on the boondocks with 1 partner who likes to be social and go out. You may and so arrange a nighttime in and take out with some other partner who prefers to hang out at dwelling.
    • Do your best to spend quality fourth dimension with each partner. Sometimes it can be stressful, and expensive, to become all out all the time when you are seeing multiple people. Endeavour to brand the fourth dimension with each partner feel meaningful to you lot both.

  4. 4

    Consider asking your partners to spend time with each other. Some polyamorous people are okay with their partners seeing one some other as friends. Others encourage their partners to also exist with each other on a romantic or sexual level. This is entirely up to yous and your partners. You may find it easier to run across multiple people if they know each other and are comfortable spending fourth dimension with each other.[ix]

    • For example, yous may introduce your partners to 1 another at a party or a social gathering. Or you may innovate them more formally to your principal partner by bringing them to your abode.
    • Make sure yous talk to your master partner offset to make sure they are comfortable being around your other partners before you introduce them.

  1. 1

    Be honest with your partners at all times. Transparency, honesty, and trust are the primal aspects of a successful polyamorous human relationship. Do not prevarication or hibernate relationships from your partners, especially your primary partner. Keep the lines of communication open so all your partners are aware of what the boundaries and rules are.[ten]

  2. 2

    Accept that you may be possessive or jealous of other partners. It is natural to get jealous or possessive of your partners, peculiarly if they are polyamorous as well. Try to have and acknowledge your feelings of jealousy or possessiveness.[11]

    • You should exist prepared for your partner's jealousy as well, as they may experience jealousy over your other partners.
    • If you are really struggling with these feelings, consider telling your primary partner, or other partners, almost information technology. Discussing it openly may help yous accept and movement by your feelings.

  3. three

    Try to perform "compersion" with your partners. "Compersion" is a term for a feeling of joy you lot get when you witness your partner being well loved by some other. Information technology is considered the opposite of jealousy and is experienced by many polyamorous people. Information technology usually develops naturally over time as yous become used to being with multiple people at in one case.[12]

    • For instance, you may experience compersion when you meet your primary partner existence appreciated past another partner in a loving way. Or you may feel compersion when you run across ane of your partners being given affection in a positive way by another partner.

  4. 4

    Be sex positive with your partners. Being sex positive means communicating your sexual needs clearly to your sexual partners. It means asking for what you want and being open to responding to the needs of your partners. Because you may have multiple sexual partners as a polyamorous person, being sex positive will ensure your sexual relationships with others are healthy and fulfilling.[13]

    • Being sex positive also means communicating when you do not want to be sexual or participate in activities y'all do not desire. You lot should also respect the sexual boundaries of others and not force your partners to do anything they practise non desire to practice.

  5. five

    Practise safety sexual activity with your partners. Make sure you lot use protection, such as condoms or nativity control, with your partners. Ever get tested for STDs and other diseases earlier you initiate sex with your partners. Confirm that your partners have been tested and are using protection before yous engage in sexual acts with them.

    • Be open and upfront about practicing safe sexual activity with your partners. Make information technology one of the master things y'all discuss with your partners before being intimate with them so you can all be rubber and have healthy sexual relationships.

  6. half dozen

    Connect with others who practice polyamory. Wait online for polyamory groups or chapters in your area. Join social media groups for people who are in polyamorous relationships. Talk to friends who are in open relationships or who are polyamorous so you tin can connect in person with others who share your approach to relationships.

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  • Over time, 1 or more than partners may wish to change your understanding. This is natural and should be addressed when it comes up.

  • Come up upward with a programme to determine what volition happen if a partner becomes unexpectedly pregnant. Yous may demand to discuss who will be responsible for the kid, especially if 1 of the biological parents is not a fellow member of your relationship.

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